Practicing acceptance when life isn't what you expected

Acceptance & Stage of Life: When Milestone Moments Look Different Than You Expected

Published On: July 7, 2021

Categories: Wellness

On Friday, June 4th, I celebrated another birthday in lockdown. But this one was a big one. Yup, a milestone birthday. I turned the big 4-0.

And to say the birthday turned out unlike how I had expected it to would be an understatement.

See, I had envisioned what my 40th birthday would look like.

There would be a rose gold 4 and 0 balloons. I would have people over at my place and because it’s me there would be plenty of photos for the ‘gram. 😂😂

Lockdown and stay-at-home orders had a different idea, though.

And this is where acceptance comes in…

Practicing Acceptance – What it is & Why we do it

Ah, acceptance. Honestly, it’s probably one of the most important mindfulness ideas to practice but it’s also the hardest to do.

Now, do you see why it’s hard to do?

The thing about acceptance is that it’s something that we often have to do over and over again.

Sometimes you might think that you’ve accepted the reality of a situation and then you realize that there is another little piece that you still need to accept.

It’s also a choice…

Take my birthday for example.

I had an idea in my head about how I wanted to celebrate it but life (and lockdown) had other ideas.

So I could have:

  1. Clung to my vision of how I wanted to celebrate and if I couldn’t do that I wouldn’t do anything
  2. Change up my plans based on what’s allowed under lockdown while continuing to cling to my vision and being upset because this version doesn’t “live up” to what I wanted
  3. Let go of my original vision for my birthday, come up with a new plan that fits the reality of this moment and continue to accept and come to terms with the new plan.

Can you guess which one I did???

If you guessed #3 you would be correct.

Was it the birthday I had envisioned? No. Was it still a fun and enjoyable day? Absolutely.

Now, I’m talking about a birthday, but this idea and practice of acceptance can apply to anything.

Anytime life throws you a curveball and things don’t go the way that you expected them to, it’s time to turn to mindfulness and the practice of acceptance.

Charlene xoxo-2
Practicing acceptance when life isn't what you expected

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Charlene Gethons

Hey there, I'm Charlene!

I help creative entrepreneurs with chronic illness create a sustainable business that fits their lifestyle without letting imposter syndrome take over.

Charlene is an entrepreneur, psychotherapist and mindfulness coach living with chronic illness after she was hit by a bus.

In this episode of Calm Amidst the Chaos, I speak with Reign Love, a soul and life alignment mentoring coach, about her journey into coaching and the transformative work she does. Reign discusses how the pandemic led her to host a free self-love course, which unexpectedly launched her coaching career. She emphasizes the importance of aligning one's inner and outer worlds, defining personal success, and cultivating self-love. 

In this episode, Reign shares insights on how people often seek fulfillment externally, but true contentment comes from within. The discussion also touches on emotional intelligence, the necessity of experiencing a full range of emotions, and the significance of presence, love, and connection in achieving personal alignment.

Click the link in my bio to give this episode a listen and then come back here and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
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Will it “stop” the blood? Sure, for like a second. But you still have to deal with the underlying issue. 
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External solutions just change your stress from one problem to another. 
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There is no external solution that will heal your stress or burnout. #ISaidWhatISaid
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You’re in debt so you think winning the lottery will solve all your problems? Nope. It might get you out of debt but then you have the new stress of everyone you’ve ever met showing up on your doorstep looking for money. 
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Facts.
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Because stress happens. Again and again and again. 
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And I’m looking for beta testers for a group setting, where I personally help you to reduce your stress by making changes to your day-to-day life so that you can heal or preempt your burnout
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Here is what you will get:
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Your role as a Beta tester is simple: engage with the materials, attend the live session, and share your feedback. 
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Are you in? 
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2 years today I was fairly rushed in to surgery to get my new #crainalprosthesis.

💫The decision was made Monday, 
💫they confirmed they had the prosthesis Wednesday, 💫I was in the OR Friday and 
💫back home at my moms on Saturday. 

🎶and for the first time in forever🎶 I had 0 complications after surgery 🥳🥳

It was a chaotic journey that tested all the skills and concepts that I teach inside my programs. 

It broke my heart and my soul a little bit. 

It took me this long to start to feel like a human again. 

Now, 2 years on, I’m picking up the pieces of my broken heart and putting my life back together. 

✨I’m back teaching with the brain injury group
✨I’ve moved back to my apartment 🎉🎉
✨and I’m moving into 1:1 anxiety coaching 

It was a tough road but I made it through and I am so happy to be on the other side!! 🥳🎉💕🙏🏻
Mamma Mia with my Momma ❤️❤️
Ever had a day where everything seems to go sideways? 😅 

Mom and I planned a getaway to Buffalo, but I woke up feeling awful. 🤢 

Instead of panicking, I leaned on mindfulness, letting future me handle the decision. Turns out, waiting a few hours was all I needed. By listening to my body, we still made it to Buffalo and had a blast! 

✨ We enjoyed some #girlsdinner our first night in the Target parking lot 😂😂

✨ Visited the Eternal Flame Falls & came back soaked in sweat 🤮🤮 

✨ Survived without a GPS - more on this later 🤫

✨ Did a little bit of shopping 🛍️🛍️ & of course had dinner at The Cheesecake Factory

✨ Don’t worry about Lucky, she got her own mini holiday 😉

🎉 Mindfulness taught me to trust my intuition and focus on the present. 

It’s about releasing judgment and embracing the moment. 🌟 

Remember, you don’t have to solve every problem immediately. Trust that future you will have the answers. 

💪 #Mindfulness #TrustYourself #HealingJourney
Mindfulness is about learning how to feel your feelings without letting them overwhelm you. 

Mindfulness and meditating regularly helps you to learn how to ride these waves. 

My guided meditation, The Welcome Mat, is a practice designed to help you learn how to greet each thought, emotion and sensation in the body as if it was an old friend. 

To invite it in and to let it stay for as long as it wants. 

Because here’s the thing: what keeps our difficult emotions around is our thoughts and resistance to them. 

When we push them down & pretend they aren’t here - they just pop back up later. 

When we go down the thinking and ruminating rabbit hole - we feed them encouraging them to stick around longer. 

When we let them float past like leaves floating down a stream - the move on faster. 

Mindfulness teaches you how to feel your feelings without feeding them. Skills training helps you to complete the circuit so that they don’t linger around inside your body. 

My 1:1 anxiety coaching program is a great way to learn how to start welcoming in these difficult uncomfortable emotions so that you can feel a little more ease and a lot less overwhelm. 

It’s time to start healing your anxiety and managing your burnout and I can show you the path forward. 

DM me the words MORE EASE and let’s chat about working together so that you can start to heal today.
Did you know that you can practice mindfulness even in a busy coffee shop? 

A mindful eating practice brings your 5 senses to the act of drinking a cup of coffee ☕️ 

1️⃣ What do you see? Describe the different colours that you can see.
2️⃣ what do you hear? The hum of different conversations. The sounds of working in the kitchen. The different noises you can hear as they brew your coffee. 
3️⃣ what do you smell? The smell of the coffee as it’s being brewed.
4️⃣ what can you touch? Feel the weight of the cup in your hands. 
And finally 5️⃣ take a sip and really, taste your coffee. Let it sit in your mouth for a moment before you swallow it down. 

This is a simple practice that you can do when the world outside feels chaotic to help you find a moment of calm. 💕🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♀️
Living with anxiety feels like being trapped in a stormy sea, waves crashing relentlessly 🌊. But healing your anxiety? It’s like finding a calm harbour, where the sun finally breaks through the clouds ☀️. 
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Let’s journey together from chaos to peace with my free 7 day mindfulness challenge. 💙 #Mindfulness #HealingJourney
Worries are imaginary problems. 🌟 They’re just thoughts and what ifs about things that *might* happen. These imaginary issues can cause real emotions to bubble up inside us. Healing anxiety is about recognizing these worries and taking action. 
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Here’s a 3-step process to help you out:
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1. **Check the facts** - What do you *know* to be true? Not your thoughts and fears, but actual facts.
2. **Future you’s problem** - Worries are about the future. Let them go and focus on the problems you can solve right now.
3. **One thing you can do now** - What can you do in this moment to help out future you?
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Every time worries pop up, cycle through these steps. Over time, you’ll notice a shift. You’ll worry less and start making more intentional, mindful choices.
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Take my recent example: I adore the shade of blue I’m wearing in this video and want everything I see in it! But...
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1. **Check the facts** - I already have two dresses in this shade. This one is similar, so I can put it down.
2. **Future me’s problem** - Future me won’t come home to three identical dresses and won’t face the judgment of buying another one.
3. **One thing now** - I saved money by not buying the dress, helping both current and future me. 💙
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This strategy is foundational for healing anxiety. It’s a kinder way to manage worries in the moment. We build on this in our 1:1 coaching sessions, creating more strategies for your anxiety toolkit.
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Send me a DM, and let’s chat about working together. 💬✨
🧘🏻‍♀️💕🙏🏻The reality is, life is hard. 
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Whether it’s having to rebuild your life (again) after a catastrophic injury or life changing diagnosis. 
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Or living with lifelong anxiety. 
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Or even just existing and managing work, family and trying to have a life somewhere in the midst of all.the.things. 
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Life is hard. 
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Dealing with the uncertainty of life is hard. 
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The not knowing what the future holds and what path to take is hard. Life is hard. 
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BUT at that same time we acknowledge that life is hard we can also CHOOSE our hard. 
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While I didn’t choose the accident or needed to have my skull rebuilt 3x I do get to choose how I show up and face the hard in front of me. 
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All paths are hard so which hard path do I want to choose? 
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Learning how to heal my lifelong anxiety was hard. But living with anxiety is also hard. Choose your hard. 
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Which path do you want to take? 
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Is it the path towards healing and living a life with a little more ease? 
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Or is it the path of resistance and staying small? 
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Choose your hard. 
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Life is hard, but you can create the space needed to make it a little bit easier. Which hard path are you going to choose? 
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If you’re ready to heal your anxiety, send me a DM and let’s chat to see if we are a good fit to work together.