AKA that time I was hit by a bus…. and then 5 years later a car.

I sometimes wish that I was joking, but in all honesty, I was hit by a bus and then exactly 5 years later I was hit by a car sustaining a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) in both accidents. And ultimately requiring several emergency craniectomies (I’ve had 3 so far) and several cranioplasties and other neuro-adjacent surgeries.

Basically, it’s been a rough last 10 years. And the number 1 thing that has helped me to navigate this journey has been mindfulness and my meditation practice.

Introduction – Embracing Life’s Unexpected Turns

Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way, forcing us to navigate uncharted territory and adapt to new circumstances. In my journey as a psychotherapist, brain injury survivor, former anxiety sufferer, and mindfulness meditator, I have experienced firsthand how life can take an abrupt turn.

Not just in the big traumatic, catastrophic, life-changing ways either. The truth is, there will always be something that throws you off course and mindfulness helps you to find the calm amidst the chaos.

One of the Buddhist/Mindfulness teaches that I share with my coaching clients is this idea of the 2 Arrows.

The first arrow is the inevitable pains of life, from the mundane of being stuck in traffic, to the larger life changing moments that will befall all of us in one way or another.

While we won’t all be hit by a bus, (I sure hope not!) as we grow through life we will probably all get sick or injured in some way, and if not us, then somebody that we know.

Stress in someway or another is inevitable.

The second arrow is our thoughts, judgement and resistance to the first arrow. And this one is optional. I don’t have to like my first arrow – and I often don’t – but I can learn to accept the reality of the first arrow.

And this is where mindfulness comes in.

The Unforeseen Accident that Changed Everything

On Monday, January 21st, 2013, my life took a dramatic twist when I was hit by a bus after leaving the movie theater with some friends from my book club. This sudden incident resulted in severe injuries and led me down a path filled with physical pain and emotional turmoil.

It sucked. Big time.

Rebuilding After Trauma – A New Beginning

The accident left me with permanent invisible disabilities stemming from traumatic brain injury (TBI). It shattered the life I had been building and forced me to rebuild from scratch. As I embarked on this arduous journey of healing and recovery, I discovered the power of mindfulness as a tool for managing anxiety one moment at a time.

Because while I was in therapy, and had tried taking an antidepressant for a period of time, I knew I needed more. So when in early 2014, my social worker mentioned learning mindfulness, I was all for it.

Honestly, after the year that I had had I knew that something needed to change.

First there was the accident, then while I was still in the hospital I coded leading to my first emergency craniectomy, a time period that I thankfully have zero memory of. I was discharged with no bone over the right side of my brain to allow for the swelling to go down and to reduce the pressure on my brain. 3 months later I was back in the OR to have my first cranioplasty where they put my bone back in.

And then I went home to recover, to heal and to rebuild my life. 💪💪💪

Only the universe had other ideas for me.

6 weeks after the bone went back in I started experiencing some complications that ultimately lead to me returning to the ER and my second emergency craniectomy. To learn more and to see some truly disgusting photos, you can check out a post from my old blog here.

Turns out my bone had become infected and needed to come out.

6 weeks after I completed my treatment for the bone infection the complications started again. Because I wouldn’t be me if things went smoothly. (hint: this thought 👈 is the 2nd arrow that I mentioned ⬆️)

It was during this YEAR that the bone was out that I first start learning and practicing mindfulness. I also started my masters in counselling psychology because I’m an idiot (hello, second arrow!) and don’t know how to just relax after major neurosurgery.

The Power of Mindfulness – Saving Grace Amidst Chaos

Mindfulness became my lifeline during this challenging period in my life. With its practice rooted in being fully present in each moment without judgment or attachment, mindfulness provided solace amidst chaos. It allowed me to acknowledge difficult emotions while maintaining inner calmness and composure.

Because mindfulness helped me to be in this moment which is the only one that you can do anything about. And when life is chaotic and full of uncertainty about the future being in this moment is a good thing.

Regardless of whether I like this moment or not I know what is here. I know this moment. I can see what challenges are here and I can decide what I want to do next.

One moment at a time.

This is the power of mindfulness and how it helped me to heal my lifelong anxiety and to move through a truly challenging season.

And I haven’t even mentioned the second accident. Or the second bone infection. Or the other complications/infections I experienced that led to additional surgeries. I go into this a bit more inside of my podcast Calm Amidst the Chaos and episode 1 – When life gives you lemons.

Transcript

Welcoming Emotions – The Welcome Mat Practice

One powerful mindfulness practice that helped me navigate overwhelming emotions is the Welcome Mat meditation. This practice involves welcoming in our emotions without resistance or avoidance, allowing them to exist and then naturally dissipate. By embracing these emotions rather than pushing them away, we create space for healing and growth.

The Window of Choice – Responding vs. Reacting

Mindfulness also taught me about the window of choice—the space between a stimulus and our response—where wisdom resides. Through cultivating equanimity, we can pause in this window of choice and consciously choose how to respond rather than react impulsively. This empowers us to break free from habitual patterns and make conscious decisions aligned with our values.

Embracing Equanimity – Finding Balance Amidst Life’s Challenges

Equanimity plays a vital role in navigating life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. It is not about denying difficult experiences but rather maintaining mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper amidst adversity. With equanimity as our anchor, we learn to hold all aspects of life—the joys, sorrows, challenges—in balance while staying open to each moment.

Overcoming Anxiety – A Mindful Approach

Anxiety often accompanies challenging situations or traumatic events like mine. In episode two of my podcast series on healing anxiety through mindfulness practices, I delve deeper into understanding anxiety’s origins while sharing practical tips for managing anxious moments using mindfulness techniques.

Learning mindfulness was an absolute game changer for me. It helped me to come to terms with the reality of my disability. To survive the chaos of the last decade. And to rebuild my life (again) in the wake of everything that has happened.

Join Our Journey from Chaos to Calm

Hey there, fellow traveller on the road to healing! 🌟 Life with a chronic illness can feel like a never-ending storm, but finding calm amidst the chaos is possible. I’ve walked this path and discovered that mindfulness was my guiding light through adversity. Are you ready to explore more tools and stories that inspire resilience and peace?

Join our community of resilient entrepreneurs who are transforming their lives one mindful moment at a time. Let’s share experiences, support each other, and continue this journey together.