feeling overwhelmed and stuck

Why Having No Plan May Be The Best Plan Of All

Published On: January 11, 2021

Categories: Meditation, Wellness

I used to be a hard core planner. I like control and I tried to stay 10 steps ahead and to always be prepared. 

And then life reminded me that sometimes things happen that are outside of our control and that no amount of planning ahead of time can prepare us for what lies ahead. 

Without a plan, my anxiety would creep in and the questions would start to build up. I would spend so much time worrying about what might go wrong instead of being excited about the journey that I was on. 

Thoughts like, “what if I’m not good enough?” “what if I get fired?” “What if…..”

I think you can see the pattern here. 

Until 2013 I lived my life in a kind of rigid fashion where I never stepped out of my comfort zone. Even the thought of doing so could generate anxiety and panic. 

So what happened in 2013 to change all this? 

I was hit by a bus while crossing the street. 

One traumatic brain injury, 2 skull fractures, an infected bone, 4 neurosurgeries and a chronic non-healing wound later… 

Any plans I might have had for my life were promptly thrown out the window. I had to figure out what to do next and I had no idea where to start. 

Enter mindfulness. 

Learning mindfulness helped me to quiet out all of the noise so that I could focus on my recovery. Little did I know at the time that it would result in a brand new career. 

After practicing with my teacher for 8 weeks in the Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program I started to feel less anxious all. the. time and I had a new clarity. 

I knew that more people needed to know mindfulness and that I needed to teach it. 

Which is exactly what I then did. Without all of the planning, pros and cons, and internal debating that I would have done before for something a lot less life-changing. 

I had the idea, there was time in my schedule, a new cohort was starting and I signed up. 

And thank goodness that I did. 

Teaching mindfulness is my passion. It’s why I started this business and why I am launching a FREE 5 day live mindfulness challenge next week. 

From January 18-22, 2021 you can join me and some other like minded individuals to finally feel less overwhelm and more ease in your life. 

Did I mention it was for free? There’s still time to sign up, just click here. . 

I hope to see you there, 

Why having no plan may be the best plan of all

Why having no plan may be the best plan of all

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Charlene Gethons

Hey there, I'm Charlene!

I help creative entrepreneurs with chronic illness create a sustainable business that fits their lifestyle without letting imposter syndrome take over.

Charlene is an entrepreneur, psychotherapist and mindfulness coach living with chronic illness after she was hit by a bus.

Happy Thanksgiving!!⁣
This year I am unbelievably grateful, that for the first time in 3 years I am not:

✨ awaiting surgery
✨ hoping and praying for a wound to heal
✨ waiting and wondering to see what's going to happen next
✨ actively recovering from surgery

Did I mention this was the first time in 3 YEARS?! Because it is 🎉🎉🎉 

I am grateful for my amazing doctors for helping me to navigate the absolute WTAF of the last 3 years. 

I'm grateful to my family and friends for all the texts. phone calls and visits and for their support during this difficult and wild ride. 💕🥰

And I am so incredibly grateful that I can finally close the 🚪 on this chapter. 

So I celebrated by baking some pumpkin spice cupcakes and a mini bundt cake. And then I staged an elaborate photo shoot to document all of my hard work. As one does 😉

As I continue to heal I'm going to continue to make a point of savouring the good moments, to embrace the difficult moments and to practice self-compassion and mindfulness along the way. 💕
August brought with it a lot of firsts and some new adventures...
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✨ first time traveling since my surgeries
✨ first time visiting Ireland since we lost Dad
✨ first time my youngest niblings came for a sleepover - and a “double sleepover” (2 nights) at that!
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Changing the environment or your routine can help on the healing journey. 
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💕It can help you to be present in this moment. 
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💕To practice curiosity. 
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💕And to get out of your comfort zone. 
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All parts of a mindfulness meditation practice. 
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Mindfulness has been the #1 thing that has helped me to heal my anxiety and to help me navigate my new & challenging path. 
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Moment by moment. Breathe by breath. 
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Join me now inside my 7 day free mindfulness challenge to learn how to quickly calm your mind. 
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Click the link in my bio to sign up today. 💕🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♀️
My mom and I have very different reading styles. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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She likes to read a few chapters in bed as part of her settling routine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I just like to read. Haha. I can curl up with a book for hours and be perfectly pleasant. I do not bring a book into bed with me because it will just lead to me being up all night until I finish it. 😳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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“Just one more chapter.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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“I’ll put it down at the end of this chapter.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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“I’m only going to read for an hour.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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“Just a little bit more and then I’ll put it down.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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“Well, there’s only one chapter left, I might as well finish it.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🎶It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me. 🎶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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👆🏻 a true story that has happened more times than I care to admit. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Which is why I don’t bring a book into bed with me. 😆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Growing up, I always carried a book with me. I still remember sitting in class, pulling a book out and hiding it in my lap to read during lessons. Oops. 😳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🚗 trips? I'd be in the backseat with a book reading by the light of the streetlamp. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✈️ ride? I'd have a book with me on the plane and a few more in my suitcase. I no longer travel with physical copies of books - only ebooks - to save room for souvenirs. 😉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I love to read. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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While my mom and I differ on our reading styles, the one thing we can both agree on is that we love a good romance novel and anything by Kate Morton. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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In fact the only time my mom has struggled to put down a book is if it's by Kate Morton. We both had a couple of late nights recently reading her newest novel Homecoming. It was too good, I highly recommend it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What are you currently reading? Let me know in the comments below 👇👇
Life lately. Good friends, good food, and a cute puppy. 🥰👯‍♀️🍕🐶🌺
The 4 things your body needs you to do to heal.
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These are all strategies that I use regularly and that I’ve taught my clients/students over the years. 
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They are all proven strategies and skills that work when our bodies are in distress. 
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level 1 - mild, some distress, feel like you can manage it, and move your way through it with some assistance. Take a deep breath and bring your attention back to whatever you’ve been doing. So, if I notice distress as I’m writing an IG caption, I take a breath, notice where it is in my body and gently guide my awareness back to the task. 
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Level 2 - put my hand on my sternum, take several breaths, and remind myself I’m safe
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Level 3 - can’t focus so I distract myself with something that doesn’t require too much thinking - like baking, organizing some papers, or cleaning up my room. 
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Level 4 - get up and move. This is a distress tolerance skill that I teach inside my programs. It’s quick, it’s intense and it works. It’s one (of several) skills that can help your body quickly regulate itself. 
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Mindfulness helps me to recognize what level I am at and to remember to use the skill that matches it. 
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Somedays, I can start at a level one and then quickly move straight to a level 4. 
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Somedays I can be at a 0 and then boom, I’m a level 4 and I need to grab my shoes and go. 
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Mindfulness not only helps me to recognize what level I’m at and what strategy I need but it also helps me to not mentally beat myself up for not being further ahead on this healing journey. 
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To give myself and my body all the time it needs to heal.
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Now it’s your turn to do the same. You can get started working with me, and learning how to use mindfulness to heal by signing up for my free challenge in the link in my bio.
How to recognize if it’s a bear or a mouse...
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Sometimes on our healing journey we see bears when really it’s a mouse. 
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I teach this to my students as The Lion vs The Mouse. 
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This parable is a reminder that sometimes our trauma and anxiety continues to see lions even when everything’s fine. 
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Especially when that trauma is related to our health. 
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Every little sensation can trigger a reaction and send you into fight or flight. 
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With my history of scars not healing and leading to more surgery it’s no wonder that this time around I was hyper vigilant with my scar. 
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But this vigilance, might feel helpful, it isn’t always. 
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My vigilance, trauma, and anxiety resulted in several panic attacks as my scar healed. 
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Even after getting the “all clear” from FOUR doctors my trauma continued to tell me that something was wrong and that I was in danger. 
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My eyes knew that it was healing but my vigilant part was too scared from past experience to let down its guard and relax. 
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So this is the deep inner healing work that I’ve been engaged with this year. 
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In my next video I dive deeper into exactly what I have been doing to regulate my nervous system each time my trauma response shows up. 
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Healing can happen, it just takes (a lot of) time. 
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Mindfulness helps me to remember to be compassionate towards all of my parts in these moments. To take care of the scared and vigilant parts. To thank them for their service and to gently remind them that they are not needed now. 
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To breathe deep, and to return to this moment.
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Stayed tuned for Friday’s video where I will share the 4 different strategies that you can use when that mouse shows up but it feels like a lion.
I’ve felt like I’ve been chased by a bear for the last 3 years.
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That’s what trauma can feel like. 
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And after being in survival mode for sooo long it can be hard for our body to recognize that it’s safe. 
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While logically, I know that everything is fine, my nervous system hasn’t got the memo. 
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I’ll be working on a puzzle in the kitchen, and out of nowhere I’ll feel like if I don’t get out of here I’m going to jump out of my skin. 
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Like if I could physically leave my body, I would.
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And this is coming from a trauma-informed psychotherapist with over 10 years in the mental health field. 
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Healing trauma takes time. 
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Our bodies need to learn that it’s okay and that they can stop being vigilant all the time. 
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That your parts that have been keeping watch can let down their guard. 
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It will take time. There will be some resistance. 
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Which is where mindfulness comes in. It helps me to recognize when my vigilant parts have come online so that I can talk to them, thank them for their service and remind them that they are safe.
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As many times as they need the reminder. 
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It’s a journey and one that I am mindfully taking. 😉
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It’s hard work but it’s necessary work. It’s all part of the healing process. 
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This is how I am healing my trauma. Moment by moment. Breath by breath. 💕🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♀️
My mom couldn’t believe what had just happened, “I almost fell off my chair". 
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We were in Florida for one of my mindfulness trainings around my moms birthday so I took her on a Jungle River Cruise showboat. 
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I had never been on one of these before so I didn't realize that we all ate together at huge picnic tables as a way to make it more communal & sociable - this would have been my worst nightmare before. 
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But not anymore. 
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We sat down beside each other, got our meals, chatted a bit & then I turned to the person beside me, introduced myself and struck up a brief conversation. 
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And my mother almost fell off her chair!
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She couldn’t believe it. She told me afterwards that she thought to herself: “who is this and where is my daughter!” 
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Because she knew how shy I had always been. How speaking to even family members that I hadn’t seen in awhile would trigger my anxiety. And here I was speaking to a complete stranger by my own volition. 
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Learning mindfulness honestly turned me into a new woman. 
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It taught me how to get out of my head and into my life. 
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To stop overthinking and second guessing everything. 
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To stop worrying all the time about what someone else might be thinking about me. 
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To stop judging myself all. The. Time. 
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To just be. 
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Life changing. 
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All thanks to mindfulness. 
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I learned how to heal my anxiety. To heal my burnout. To navigate extremely tough and challenging situations. To get out of my head & into my life. 
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It is my goal in life to help you to learn how to do the same. 
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Which is why I created my FREE 7 day challenge (link in bio) to help you learn how to quiet the noise & quickly calm your mind in under 10 minutes.
This morning, slow down and take a moment with your cup of coffee. ☕️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ Feel the weight of the cup in your hands.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Notice the colours made by the mix of coffee and milk⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Smell the aroma emanating from your cup⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Hear the sounds of the world around you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Slowly take a sip and notice all the flavours you can taste. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you bring your 5 senses to any activity you’re doing - like drinking a cup of coffee - you can turn it into a mindfulness practice. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Slow down, breathe in, and be in this moment. 💕🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♀️
🎶🎶 It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me 🎶🎶​​​​​​​​​
Hello, it is I, Charlene, chronic overthinker and the source of most of my anxiety. 

And this was before I was hit by a bus. 

Over the years I missed out on a lot of opportunities because I was so in my head worrying and overthinking everything. 

The amount of "what ifs" that would run through my head in a day over something that might NEVER happen was too many to count. 

I would worry that I would say something "stupid" in front of my classmates, colleagues or friends. So instead I wouldn't say anything. 

This held me back in so many ways over the years. 

And then I was hit by a bus, my anxiety went through the roof, and in an effort to manage it, I learned mindfulness meditation. 

Suddenly, my anxiety was under control, I could TALK to people, and I stopped living in my head. 

I learned how to get out of my head and into my life. 

Now, I am on a journey to help 1000 individuals to learn how they to can use mindfulness meditation to heal their anxiety and get out of their heads. 

You can get started with me, right now, for $0, with my 7 day mindfulness meditation challenge. 

Inside this challenge you will learn how to quickly calm your mind in just 10 minutes a day. 

Click the link in my bio to get join me. 💕🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♀️